Top Ten - Rome

Number 10 -

Even nuns are human and enjoy a glass of wine every now and then.

Number 9 -

The Appian Way is hard to walk on in stiletto heels.

Number 8 -

Swiss Guard myths abound. Do they really carry Uzis under those uniforms? Don't risk finding out. And, no, Michelangelo did not design these colorful outfits. Commandant Jules Repond created this uniform in 1914. Perhaps he based them on a painting of the Swiss Guard bearing Pope Julius II on a litter done by Raphael, or a 1577 fresco by Jacob Coppi of the Empress Eudoxia conversing with Pope Sixtus III. But no one knows who designed the uniforms in those early times. It just might have been Michelangelo himself.

Number 7 -

Pope Benedict XVI is a closet Punk Rocker.

Number 6 -

The Bocca della Verita is really an ancient sewer grate, but don't let that stop you. Place your hand in the mouth and legend has it that your hands will be bitten off if you've lied. Be careful.

Number 5-

The Ecstasy of St. Teresa was designed and completed by Bernini between 1647 and 1652. It caused quite a stir because St. Teresa is depicted here with a look of orgasmic pleasure during her visit by an angel with a huge golden spear.

Number 4 -

Pope Pius IX says, "Off with their weenies!" In 1857, Pope Pius IX thought that the "accurate representation of the male form" of the statues might threaten the religious life of the Vatican. As the result, he grabbed a mallet and hacked off every genitalia of male sculptures inside the museum. The madness destroyed invaluable arts.

After the reign of Pope Pius IX, his successor Pope Leo VIII tried to fix the damage by adding a patch in the form of fig leaves at every crotch of statues. So, is there a crate of stone penises hidden somewhere in the Vatican?

Number 3 -

This wall connects the Vatican to the old Roman Fortress. It is said that when threatened, a pope could scurry to saftey through the corridor on the top and not be seen by his enemies on the ground. Oh, those popes can be mischievous, can't they?

Number 2 -

The Church of Santa Maria della Concezione is unremarkable from the exterior. However, venture inside and you will discover that in 1631 the Capuchin Friars remains were brought from the old Friary and reburied in the crypt in Barberini's church. However, rather than a regular burial the bones were set out in elaborate tableaux, some wired together to form patterns, otherwise placed in poses. The inscription reads, "What you are, we used to be. What we are, you will be". Well, that cheers me up.

Number 1 -

The Elephant Obelisk is a bit quirky. The obelisk in Piazza di S. Maria sopra Minerva was found in 1665 in the cloister of the church. The obelisk itself was originally erected in Sais, a town in Lower Egypt, by the Pharaoh Apries. In 1667 Gian Lorenzo Bernini erected the small obelisk on top of an elephant. Nice, huh? Well, notice the square block of stone under the elephant's belly. Bernini's original design had no belly support, and he fought hard to maintain the integrity original design. But the men of the planning commission, one of whom was Father Paglia whose own design had been rejected by the council, thought an unsupported belly could not bear the weight of the giant obelisk. Bernini had permission to go ahead with his sculpture but only with the square support. Hating the heavy awkwardness the support added to his design, but wanting the job, the sculptor agreed to the plan, but had a little plan of his own. He had one of his students, Ercole Ferrata, carve the elephant scuplture complete with the belly support and realistic elephant tail. Bernini then placed the obelisk on the top. When he placed the finished work in the Piazza, he aimed the rear of the elephant toward the house of Father Paglia. The realistic elephant tail is in the tell-tale position of twitching to the left indicating the animal is getting ready to drop a load of manure in the Father's direction!